The holidays are here and there’s no denying that tradition and expectations are high on the priority list. But… what if instead of just going with the flow, we actually take a step back and consider why we do what we do and focus on intentional celebrating?
Intentional celebrating is taking a reflective look at why you do what you do when planning activities and focusing on well-being.
For the record, this can be for any holiday or special event (birthday, wedding, anniversary… you get the idea) My goal today is to bring a sort of challenge to you and share my own story at the same time.
Can you relate to this?
Let’s wipe the slate clean, if you will, and really deep dive on our hearts’ desire.
And maybe you’re on the side of enjoying every single minute no matter what – good on ya!
OVER TIME
I grew up in a household that went to church on special holidays, including Christmas Eve. When we got home we did the Santa thing and woke up Christmas morning with focus on presents.
As part of a family that I know understand was controlled by a narcissist, I know that not everyone has the same experience as myself. However, I knew that when I became a Christian at the age of 18, I needed to make changes to my celebrating. I explain more of this in my video below.
Fast-forward to becoming a mother and I knew I did not want to continue some of the traditions from my culture as well as my family. Even though I still changed many things, I felt my efforts still coming up empty (more on this in my video)
Likewise, pressure to do all the things as a single married mother is HEAVY.
- buy all the gifts for everyone on both sides of the family, including extended family, AND the extra folk like ANYONE outside of the family
- figure out how to afford all those gifts
- plans all the events for everyone from decorating to endless activities for all the family
- plan, shop for, and prepare all the food needed
- decorate everything by myself until children want to join in at the able age
I came up asking myself, “Is this what celebrating Christ’s birth is really all about?”
WIPING THE SLATE CLEAN
Let’s say you could hit a giant pause button or essentially wipe the slate clean of traditions or expectations, or not worrying about impressions made on others. Where would your starting point be?
Again, this doesn’t have to be limited to the holidays. For discussions’ sake, let’s break it down to wants and needs and then find a compromise.
Yes, someone might flip a wig if the meal isn’t exactly so, or all of the family participates instead of the burden falling on a few shoulders.
In my family we have a mixed bag of who wants to do what. Some want to keep many of the long-held traditions that I taught them (and I own my part in that), while others couldn’t care less what we do. In order to make sense of it all we need to compromise.
One may want to go to a holiday parade while another has a need to avoid crowds and noises. (spectrum family here)
For myself, I’m reaching the point of I just want Jesus. Nothing else matters.
And when my birthday comes around, if I don’t want to do anything, I don’t.
I am now happy with my choosing my well-being first and know that God knows my heart.
You’re invited to listen and join in this discussion below.
PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
Whatever position you’re in, I invite you to share your story, your thoughts in comments below. We all can learn and grow from each other. What is more, pin and share to invite others to join in as well.
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While you’re at it, here are more posts related to intentional celebrating:
Oh the self-inflicted pressure. Who needs it? I’ve cut back on doing so many things and yet the pressure is still there. Just yesterday I told my husband that I need to keep reminding myself that although I’m going bonkers I really don’t have that much to do. It’s just that I’m not accustomed to it. My advice is everyday figure out what is giving you the most anxiety and get it done. It seems to always work out. And if not? There’s always next year. Sigh……. However, in this day and age so many are struggling. My heart aches for them. My husband and I gave up giving gifts and cards to each other years ago. We donate to the local food pantry. That’s a gift that can make you feel good and no pressure involved. God bless!
EXACTLY. Good on you, Barb, for figuring out what works for you. We don’t decorate or give gifts for the last several years either generally but just enjoy being together. I do, however, get them a sort of “I love you” gift or two sometime within the year. Blessings to you too!
Since my divorce I’ve been taking a good hard look at the traditions I was carrying on autopilot, for the sake of everyone else. My motto for Christmas is “simplify” and only partake in festivities that bring joy and within my budget. Gift giving is paired down, the holiday cards sent to only those who reciprocate, the feast untraditional potluck style. The emphasis less on making it perfect and more on being relaxed and having fun. Maybe that comes from age as well, now being a senior on a fixed income.
That sounds totally lovely because it’s what you WANT to do and having fun at the same time. I’m all for just doing whatever is there to keep the focus where it needs to be. Hugs!