Just when you think you can take a breath, life takes a deep rollercoaster dive with twists and turns!! What do you do in that time? You’re allowing yourself space.
Yes, that’s exactly right.
Not, just (fill in the blank with this ridiculous thing) and you’ll be FINE.
I’m done with minimizing my experiences to make myself and others comfortable.
Sound good to you?
Let’s talk about what happened to me last week as my example.
I was feeling relief, good, lighthearted, happy… you get the idea. That’s because things seemed to be falling into place and I was making time to just be as I often do.
That’s when a random freak accident knocks me off my feel-good stent.
If you’re a part of my newsletter family, you already know this news.
However, take a good look at that middle finger.
Do you remember in a few months back it got smashed in a 50-mph wind gust that caught my storm door? The nail just fell off last week and it’s still growing out.
Well… as I was making lunch for my kids, I had an accident. I fully explain it in my last newsletter but also in my vlog below.
Unfortunately, it’s also been just a year since I fractured this same thumb.
Now… I’m not a squeamish sort but this one flipped me and reminded me of when I cut two of my fingers on my table saw. {{gasp}}
If you want to see what happened, hover over the area below. DON’T IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE!
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Hover over the space above to reveal the hidden image
MAKE IT STOP
Now, as if that’s not bad enough, my system took such a hit, especially when I deal with C-PTSD, that a day later I get a wickedly painful ear infection.
sigh.
Just a sidenote: ALL OF THESE INJURIES (broken thumb, broken toes, fingers, etc.) were not job related!! And it kills me that they were freak accidents.
I’ve not been able to do much in the last seven days. And that’s horrible when this is my livlihood.
However, I did finally feel good enough to get a bit of outdoor garden therapy time. (check out the vlog below as you’ll miss half the content if you do!!)
What is more, I also discuss what my initial trauma induced response was in my head and how I handled it that shows I’m healing and allowing space.
While on pain meds I just wanted to get a small bit cleaned up in my backyard terrace. See the before a few months ago HERE.
My three youngest came out to help and we did about an hour or so worth of work clearing brush, digging stumps and …
I WAS RIGHT!
It IS a horseshoe pit since we found the horseshoes on one of the buried pins!
DID I MESS UP?
And yes… my hand and ear killed me after that, so I took more days off. And don’t tell me I need to slow down until you understand that my narcissist parent literally trained me to be like this.
It’s part of allowing yourself space (or myself) to understand and process.
I have made LEAPS AND BOUNDS at slowing down, but I will always be a feverishly hard worker.
While I don’t intend to focus on that top terrace area much this season unless time allows, I want to focus on the terraced gardens I want to add. But I’m happy we can set some chairs up here to enjoy a summer sunset. Additionally, my freshly sown seed on the back lawn (with DIY French drain) is coming along nicely.
ALLOWING YOURSELF SPACE
Now, about allowing yourself space when faced with trials or just daily life.
That means you’re letting yourself time and energy to feel all the feels, to process the events, and soak in what your body and mind need to do.
Just like that terrace, it needs tending, and allowing the process of healing to begin.
No one needs to fix it for me but rather allow time. You can read more HERE.
My mental and physical game got ROCKED.
Depression is real.
And at the same time, I’ve got a family to care for, to homeschool, and much to be thankful for as well.
If you can relate to this post, you’re not alone.
Leave some comment love below as well as pin and share to let others know they’re not alone either.
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Here are additional posts you can peruse like this allowing yourself space:
Bless your heart!!! Sending you hugs, prayers and all the luck o can muster!!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻 Please take care!! ❤️
Oh, I’ll take all I can get, girl. What a week it’s been! <3 Thank you.
You are learning & growing and are moving on a forward path. Despite whatever challenges that come your way, you persevere. You have come a long way. That kind of growth is admirable. I have been on a very similar journey for 40+ years and have not gained nearly the strength that you have. Life can feel so catastrophic to me over simple hurts. Your story gives me the will to deal with my days better on many occasions. Your story matters. I don’t have the support system of family or friends. I have wonderful friends who are also dealing with their own stuff. I feel your story deeply.. I share in your pain & joy, as I suspect many do who follow you on your journey. You are loved and appreciated. 🩷
Dale, your words are so powerful and I thank you for that. I, too, don’t have a support system so I can totally relate to what you are saying in every facet. Just hoping to help others who might find themselves in the same situation. I pray over you! <3
Im sorry you got hurt and all of the consequences that came with it. You are right. I believe women are raised to brush off any problem we are experiencing and keep going for the sake of our families. So sad and so unfair. Most men -not all-! Just stop and rest! How luxurious! They get nursed back. Some of us get help from them (I did, he tried) and I still cried because it wasn’t the way I do things. Smh.
I had a very bad experience after total knee replacement surgery. It got infected and I ended up back in hospital after a month. Long ordeal but I still have a knee , I can move but not as I used to. I too dab into different arts and crafts and love to keep up with season decorations. Oh but do you know what triggered my depression during healing? I was worried about the housework/yardwork piling up while I was supposed to be resting! It’s so hard to be compassionate to ourselves!
However I’m a fervent believer that God has a way of telling us to pay attention to other things and when we are type A he has to do what he has to do. 😆. I realized to obvious: I needed to delegate more and do less. I needed to accept that I needed help and it was ok to let go and heal. Not easy at all. Of course I dragged my leg through my garden and stood up to cook for my husband and son. I could take anymore canned or boxed food! 😂
Let’s try to follow and listen to what God wants us to observe while healing. There’s something God needs us to see and fix. Let’s all take care of ourselves.
What a troublesome time for you, Vanessa. ouch! I’m so glad you found what works for you and your family. One of the many issues that comes with being raised by a narcissist and also being the scapegoat child means I learned to put others first and deny my own body and self. In the last few years, I’ve gained more knowledge and healing than ever. God is good.